Musings of the Reverend Meduri and Dr. Jackass
Experimentations in Literary Groin Punches
Thursday, January 15, 2004
 
Spies and lies

Al Qaeda agents are everywhere, eager to gather scraps of news about our men, our ships, our munitions. It is still possible to get such information through to bin Laden’s headquarters in northern Pakistan, where thousands of these framents – often individually harmless – are patiently pieced together into a whole which spells death to American soldiers and danger to American homes.

But while the enemey is most industrious in trying to collect information, and his system elaborate, he is not superhuman – indeed he is often very stupid, and would fail to get what he wants were it not deliberately handed to him by the carelessness of Loyal Americans.

Do not discuss the public, or with strangers, any news of troop and transport movements, or bits of gossip as to our military preparations, which come into your possession.

Do not permit your friends in service to tell you – or write you—“inside” facts about where they are, what they are doing and seeing.

Do not become a tool of the Terrorist by passing on the malicious, disheartening rumors which he so eagerly sows. Remember he asks no better service than to have you spread his lies of disasters to our soldier and sailors, gross scandals in the Red Cross, cruelties, neglect and wholesale executions in our camps, drunkenness and vice in the Expeditionary Force, and other takes certain to disturb American patriots and to bring anxiety and grief to American parents.

And do not wait until you catch someone putting a bomb under a factory. Report the man who spreads pessimistic stories, divulges – or seeks – confidential military information, cries for peace, or belittles our efforts to win the war.

Send the names of such persons, even if they are in uniform, to the Department of Justice, Washington. Give all the details you can, with names of witnesses if possible – show the Terrorist that we can beat him at his own game of collecting scattered information and putting it to work. The fact that you made the report will not become public.

You are in contact with the enemy today. Just as truly as if you faced him across No Man’s Land in your hands are two powerful weapons with which to meet him – discretions and vigilance. Use them.

Committee on public information
Jackson Place, Washington, D.C
 
Home place with writes from guys both one Meduri Preacher. Two healer of Donkies. E-mail drjackass@gmail.com with question.

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